— Penny Arcade! - Our Partial Future

Whilst watching a stream of the World Cup from the UK, I saw one of the ads that’s going out over there. It consists of all sorts of panning shots and scenes rendered with an eye-scrunching, instant headache inducing blur. It moves from street scenes, sports, lots of everyday life stuff. Honest to God, I thought it was the best advert for a blindness awareness charity I’d ever seen. Then a caption popped up and told me it was actually the future of television.

3D Movies have almost ruined cinema for me. Now they expect a populace that has only just got into the swing of upgrading to regular HDTV that they should pay thousands of dollars for something that will being that tainted experience home, whilst making it literally unwatchable for passing observers.

I’m convinced this is all tied into a 100 year plot by the people who run puppet shows. Eventually television will be entirely inaccessible to anyone that doesn’t own a $10,000 full-body immersion suit, leaving the rest standing around on the seafront gawping at Punch & Judy (which will be relaunched as a new CSI spin-off.) Whilst all that’s going on, the suits will engage a secret microwave mode, and no-one will want to eat bacon ever again. That’s the way to do it. Via: penny-arcade.com.