Ben Ward

If we all die, this post will seem regrettable.

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  1. Aide: “Mr President, _EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS THE VIRUS…_ *EVEN YOU!*”
  2. Mr President: “Oh shit… is this it? Is this humanity's end? Have I failed?”
  3. Aide: “No, sir. Just take these vitamin supplements, a little rest and watch some Adam Sandler movies from bed. You'll be fine again in four days. I can cook you some bacon if you like? For irony?”

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